C NST NTCR PZ

tututuesday.

2012-02-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

HEH HEH HEH~ SPAMMMMM!!! Currently located @ Wheelock Dr Martens. Literally rotting my ass off now that i've done and packed sixty over shoe boxes. Ridiculously, a lady just called and ask if this is Broadway?! Wow, Broadway in New York City? Hah hah.

Can't get enough of partying ey?

2012-02-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

Awwwww man, i'm missing Attica already. Haven been there for quite some time.

current favourite:

lazy mon.

2012-02-20T18:49:00.000+08:00

I should start being productive. I think i've told myself that repeatedly ever since... ... Ahh, well. Turning in and waking up at odd hours is just plain horrible. I've lacked motivation, determination and the confidence in doing something or anything. Instead, I'd rather choose to lay in bed with the the curtains drawn, this 15 inch screen in front of me and phone by my side. Le sigh.

Photoshoot was cancelled at a very last min this morning because Keli was afraid i couldn't wake up. And reason being, I had a good long night with the gang at Arab St to chill and shisha/sheesha. Impromptu decision to Sensation where we've never been there before and then, bounced over to Neverland.

Oh, POPTART on Saturday wasn't so bad although my nose was giving me a hard time enjoying. I'm digging charm's red hair big time!

Valentine.

2012-02-15T00:53:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentines day all:) thanks Bryzar for today! Short and sweet; We dined at Kuishin-Bo, food was great especially the salmon sashimi. Caught a movie, Safe House at katong with David&Katy. Very violent movie eh. And now, i'm home because i have work tmrw morning! Damn, this sucks. Oh well...

Make a trip to www.kikikeli.com NOW! SHOP NOW!

Quite a few pieces of nice dresses! :)

Beyond Sexy.

2012-02-07T19:14:00.001+08:00

Topshop Ankle Boots.

Credits to: cottds

Credits to: lustforlife.

Where on earth can I get these THAKOON ANKLE BOOTS?

Impossible to find 'em in Singapore yeah? Well, correct me if 'm wrong?

Credits to: cottds.

colours.

times like this..

2012-02-06T15:34:00.002+08:00

A LIL OF WINEBAR.

Once a year..

2012-02-06T03:44:00.000+08:00

It was Charlotte's 22nd Birthday! Simple celebration just by dining at Ding Tai Feng followed by the usuals, a gift from YSL and a cake. Proceeded to Ber's place for a big mahjong session which resulted in me getting poorer. Hahah. Dang, lost so much for the first time. SHALL NOT GAMBLE ANYMORE. Yesterday was Bryan's friend, Cressilda's 21st birthday held @ Capella Singapore. Nothing else we did there other than spamming polariod films. Over to Vivocity to catch Underworld before heading back. Damn, the movie is awesome!

?

2012-02-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

I realised, not just but for quite some already that kikikeli has played the biggest contribution to my wardrobe. I'm too lazy plus the lack of time to go shopping. If only boutiques in Singapore can be opened 24/7. Wishhhhhhhh~

Older sister is flying to Korea tomorrow! Hopefully she'll come back with LOADS of pretty clothes:) It's Wednesday night and this does not spell L A D I E S N I G H T cuz i'm in bed already. Say boooooo to work tomorrow. Le sigh and goodnight.

GONG XI! GONG XI!

2012-01-31T12:58:00.005+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year ALL! For the past few weeks, been through pretty bad times man but well, it's all good now. I guess. Hah. Other than that, same old same old. Hitting the clubs less often thou.

I had a great cny with my family and friends which is gamblingggggggg~~ hah.

stay home tuesday.

2012-01-17T16:02:00.000+08:00

OFF-DAY today. My sister and I changed the layout of our room just two days back which caused a number of blue-blacks on my legs. My desk has been downgraded where else hers has been upgraded cuz we did an exchange. Well, she need it more than i do to do her architecture stuffs. I still have HELL LOADS of stuff to clear man. Now, I'm too lazy to continue clearing.. Trying to get hold of RP's IT helpdesk number to fucking retrieve certain data from this dying lappy. ANYWAY, I've not shopped for any CNY clothes yet. Not a single piece of clothing. I NEED A NEW PAIR OF SHOES, NOT DR MARTS. Hahahaha.

In search for this shades or something similar!

Credits to The Caravan.

GUYS AND GIRLS:

SHOP @ KIKIKELI.COM
The clothes are of various range of trend/style!

Party animals! You want to wow the boys? Get this! SEXY okay! hahahaha

a lil short getaway

2012-01-16T01:48:00.000+08:00

Genting last weekend with spakzi and three other boys:) a form of celebrating Kw's birthday as well.
this time of the year was really freezing cold, that i could hardly feel my hands. moreover, it rained and it was too misty that we missed taking the outdoor rides. we even tried on our last day before heading back to singapore. this is really sad. but on a happier note, we spend most of our time in the casinos. hahaha. we casino-hop like machiam club-hop. hehe Oh, and bowlinggggg! Yeah, all the food we had was pretty good especially the seafood restaurant. I gobbled everything down though i wasn't that hungry.

We JACKPOTT ALL THE WAY during our last few hours before boarding the bus back to Singapore.

IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME!

2012-01-06T04:00:00.005+08:00

My bad, i've been too busy. Really busy! Occupied with either work, hanging out, partying and more. Oh yes, MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR GUYS. My first post for 2012 and it's gonna be a sucky one because.. yeah. It's just gonna be one. Basically, i didnt really celebrate christmas. It's sad because i was very ill for a week. I camped at home the whole time sleeping and popping pills and not eating at all! My temperature went up to 39.8 degree celsius. It went up and down and UP and eventually, i got better after i stepped out of the house just for a recent Smokefash photoshoot. Other recent or rather more significant events will be Dr Martens Annual Dinner held at Timbre Substation followed by Butterfactory that night which apparently was the last ladies night of 2011. Zouked on New Year's eve as well as on New Year's day. I got stoned, I didn't get drunk.
(I'm too lazy to continue. Tooooo eventful. hahah)

AND.. I had another crazy awesome night at Attica Too on Wednesday, just yesterday night. Well, damn I must say i got pretty wasted man! haha. And i just went for a photoshoot few hours ago. No more smokefash babies, it's KIKIKELI. Yes, upgraded to a better site for you shoppers/loyal customers <3 hehe GRAB 'EM FAST once it's up! Especially the exclusive ones! I love 'em! There will be Homme Collections as well!

In the meantime, go and "LIKE" KIKIKELI'S FACEBOOK PAGE NOW!
<..and check out da sneak preview>

jovial periods

2011-12-14T04:32:00.000+08:00

An early xchange of x'mas gifts with the Drmarts crew last friday. We got together at Kbox. Quite a good time despite having a pretty husky voice due to the screaming/shouting i did for the Snsd tour. Saturday was Chris Yew Kian Loon's 20th birthday. He's the youngest amongst us. Settled down for Hard Rock Cafe after much hesitation while shopping around for his gift but got nothing in the end. Food was a thumbs up. And after much contemplation of not wanting to club nor drink, we still ended up at Attica! Hahah. Lovely place isn't it? hehe.

goodnight 'lil ones. time for bed.

recent episodes.

2011-12-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

Three consecutive days of participating in the Girls' Generation Tour. It was torturing having to wake up unbelievably early. Yes, all we had to do was scream, shout, just make as much noise as possible whether rain or shine. The louder the better. Our voices turned hoarse. We didn't had time for proper meals. There were medias coming to take photographs, videos, etc. We have to act, pose and whatever shit not; looking dumb and stupid? It was an experience anyway:)

Fix your wardrobe.

2011-12-12T19:53:00.000+08:00

This is probably smokefash's last collection of the year before moving on to a new site.
'm loooving these new shoes.

You murmur about leaving.

2011-12-07T02:22:00.002+08:00

Just as you thought everything was going down, well, it turns out better than you imagined. Not fantastic but at the least, fair and satifying. Something to share; I removed my braces TODAY! Oh my goodness. No, I was looking forward to it because i've been emotional and physically attached to those metals for close to about three to four years. It has been with me through those crucial years where we faced ups and downs together. Definitely it did trouble me sometimes, but it's alright. I understand that it has its moodswings but will still cooperate with me at the end of the day. Enough said about those metals. Well, i had a haircut too! Turned out shorter than my ideal length. Depressing but it's alright. Hopefully it grows fast as it always do.
Tomorrow will be Smokefash's last photoshoot for the year 2011. Afterwhich, it's going to be a major revamp! Exciting eyy, wait and see. :)

hmmm.. the only photo i've got so far that's without braces.

Mich Spakzi's Twentyfirst Birthday last Saturday was held at Capella, a villa! I must say it's a really nice place especially for couples ONLY. Hahah. The bathroom was something like an open concept indoor wherelse Amara is an open concept as well but outdoor. Get it? Aiyahhh, anyway both hotel/villa is more suitable and appropriate for couples luh. Oh, and thanks to Terence for the ride to and fro;)

Count down...

2011-12-05T11:48:00.002+08:00

Improptu decision to supper at Holland V's Crystal Jade at about 2am due to our failed plan which was to party at Helipad. Ate till our hearts content but way too bloated. Sinful meal! On the same day, smokefash's photoshoot w the company of charlotte this time round. Stuffed ourselves at Sushi Tei. Just look at how much i've been eating nowadays, no doubt that 'm gaining. Life's good(Y).

On the rocks.

2011-11-30T04:14:00.000+08:00

Shaky. Isn't going the way I expected. Till this point, i am contemplating on what would be best. Well, i don't know what i want but i do know what i don't want.

Headed to JB on Mon with KL, JR and Joel. Amazingly bumped into a secondary sch mate, at such a place? Had a huge feast, bloated. Mahjonged till morning and off to Changi Aiport to pick a friend up whom just got back from Aussie. Breakfast back at Tamp, over to KL house supposedly to wait for him to prepare for sch and then me for home but ended up at Sentosa, Shangri-la's Resort. Dined at Vivo, followed by JR's place and watched t MAMA. Thumbs up for SNSD'S performance, Beast's and SuperJunior. I don't really know the rest but Y NO 2PM?!:( haha Oh, don't cha find it pretty weird to have BlackEyePeas, SnoopDogg&Dr.Dreeee performing at the MAMA? I was surprised. Anyway, over to Saffron and then Ber's place for mahjong AGAIN and i've never lost this much before!!! DAMN depressing i swear. Hahaha

FUCKENTIRED. I HAVE NOT SLEEP YET.
GOODNIGHT AYE. SAYS BOOOOO TO WORK TMRW. ;(

Fruitful Times.

2011-11-22T16:09:00.001+08:00

Crashed kikikeli's place for the past two days with 296 and three musketeers. Well, so that we could be early for smokefash's photoshoot but ended up, both of us overslept. Had so little rest because of those long hthtf talks, reminiscing of pictures at clubs and getting oh so addicted to a froggy game on the Ipad, competing to beat the high scores while JR rush to finish his assessments throughout the night and day. Spent the whole of ytsd night helping keli to edit all the photographs.
here's the new collection: it has a combination of two different styles if you noticed. (the past two collections as well)

Counting down to the day i'll have to remove my metals. 2weeks.

Not ready, Probably.

2011-11-19T05:08:00.002+08:00

I can't do this, not again. I'm unable to bring myself to tolerate that much, not again. These might just be nothing much to you but... 'm unhappy. I feel uneasy, all the fucking time. And if this is how it's gonna be, i'd rather walk away.

Time and again...

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

the flesh is weak.

2011-11-18T04:12:00.001+08:00

We move on to different things at different stages in life. When you learn to look at things from another angle, you'll gain a new perspective.

Have you ever thought/wonder, what people take you for? A joke? A laughing stock? Do they value you? Are they worth your time? How would you know if they geniunely value you or not? People can easily put on a fake mask. Dear God, what on earth has the world becoming into? Love and believe in yourself. Others will love and believe in you. Doubting yourself will allow others to doubt you (more). I thank God for what I have now (except money, hahah). Be it things will stay as it is or not, i believe He has a plan for me.

Time for self-reflection.

Bear this in mind: Know yr worth &what you deserve.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

Life isn't a bed of roses.

2011-11-14T03:54:00.002+08:00

A lil gathering w 296 & 3 other musKeteers. Steamboat followed by a round of mahjong. A pretty fulfilling sunday night. *thumbs up*

Youur actions aren't favourable to me at all. I will have to put with it and get used to it. I can't stop these negative thoughts from swarming in. It's difficult. It's scary. No matter how much it's gonna bother me, i'll live with it for now. Taking one step at a time in hopes that it'll get better.
God bless me.

FYI: Smokefash has launch a new collection! 'm lovin the snakeskin bag plus the quality is good! A must get!:)

thumbs up 4weekendz.

2011-11-13T16:46:00.002+08:00

I haven been partying for quite some time until Friday, just two days back. Went to catch a movie w B.Way after work, TINTIN and headed over to Winebar/Zouk after. It was Darran H's birthday. Shots throughout. Bounced over to NANA, dramaaa sia~. Hah! Anyway, it was fucked up to get home at about 7 in the morning and head to work with just a few hours of sleep.

Attica ytsd was good! Colours of Fiery! Finished up the bottles and many other drinks. Friends got drunk and puked. Drunk friend had to let sober friend drive the car home instead. Unsober me slammed the car boot and hurt my beloved sober friend's finger which was stucked for about ten to twenty seconds. Unsober me was still able to aid her wound and apologized repeatedly and did so again and again after I woke up. Later, imma apologized again when i meet 'em.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

It's November, 'm trying to catch up.

2011-11-04T04:32:00.001+08:00

Don't you think time passed really fast? Or is it because i've been to caught up with activities day and night that i haven been able to obtain sufficient rest, as usual.. Ha. Other than working, i've been celebrating birthdays to birthdays. my moneh's also depleting like tap water.
Keli's 21st birthday party was at a yacht. Theme: Geeky/Nerds. Food, drinks, DJ spinning too. Sure did had fun! Bcuz it was only until 12am, second round was Attica Too babaye! Yeah, a lil wasted that night. That flaming from dj stingray ALMOST killed me but gladly, it didn't. Her third round celebration was at Marina Bay Sands. Just chilled at a bar nearby with a drink or two and then to the room for food, room service~. Nom nom nom.
I missed Halloween this year. The past few years, i'll be at Zouk with Beat& the rest without fail but not this. Oh well, too lazy to even dress up or should i say, don't even bother about thinking what to dress up as. Next year, maybe? Nah, too old for all these stuffs. ha ha ha. Instead, attended Saysiang's 21st birthday celebration at his house. Frienzie Bar&Bistro after with secondary sch mates to celebrate ma beloved Cecilia's 22nd birthday.

QUEK PL'S 21st

2011-10-31T16:46:00.004+08:00

Peiliang's birthday was celebrated @ MEDZ. Good food and good company, 296. Proceeded to Zouk after for some partying with Laidbackluke. Of course, the birthday girl will never get home sober.

Peiliang's birthday was celebrated @ MEDZ. Good food and good company, 296. Proceeded to Zouk after for some partying with Laidbackluke. Of course, the birthday girl will never get home sober.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0

Be Optimistic.

2011-10-27T02:37:00.001+08:00

Although most people are happy because they have the best of everything. As I ain't that fortunate as those people, i've gotta be happy just by making the best of everything. Make sense? Well then, life just don't seem as complete as expected. I have to make a change, in me my life my future. Plans vic, where are they exactly. Time to stop partying (quite a difficult task given that i have unlimited freedom). Heh heh.

Alright, just got back from Attica & imma cook up something to fill this empty stomach. I had like less than a meal today? Still gaining weight though:(

goodnight all.
Looking forward to my weekends.
Exciting upcoming events!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-10-25T15:42:00.000+08:00

Really bored at work right now. So, a lil' outdated update.
Haji Lane with ex-colleagues about 2 weeks back? Kind of lost track of time and time seems to pass really fast. I had a pretty good month so far. Excited for this weekend!

2011-10-23T06:56:00.003+08:00

Been more than a week. Been too busy dealing with anything, everything. Been to powerhouse pretty frequently nowadays. Neglecting the shape of my already unpleasant figure due to excessive intake of alcohol, insufficient sleep, irregular meals or no meals at all and work of course. Been to Universal Studios recently AGAIN. Great fun. Thanks Bryzar for everything. :>

Just came back from LAIDBACK LUKE. It was good. Partying at Zouk was part of Sharon Quek Pei Ling's 21st birthday. Before that, had an awesome fulfilling dinner at MEDZ with the '296'.

Okay. For now, it's bedtime. Work in a few hours.

Btw, Smokefash launched a new collection again just last week.
Mostly ain't of my style actually. hmm..

Yeah, I've gained.

2011-10-14T07:18:00.000+08:00

My body has been receiving minimum rest when she has to operate for more than 12 hours actively. Just like now, i've been out for about 18 hours with very insufficient sleep. My body, my body clock have literally been tossed upside-down. I've been too occupied with fun and people. I missed Attica on Wednesday but went for 1 Altitude instead and bounced over to Powerhouse. Major headache plus a bad stomachache up till now. Torturing aye. Anyway, had a photo-shoot early in the afternoon. Over to Lasalle, over to Keli's place for some mahjong and editing of pictures, Siglap for dinner/supper, back to Haji Lane for Sheesha/chill out session with ex-colleagues (Y) Good times! Left for a movie, Changed-Up with Bryzar & gang and followed by Spize to end off our day. Time check: 6:54AM.
FYI, I need to go an exercise real fucking bad.

here's some preview of the new collection:

a few top picks;

I'M SUCH A SLOTH.

2011-10-11T21:23:00.001+08:00

Life's been great. I've got another job offer and i should totally go for it right? A position as an Interactive Designer that pays pretty okay for the fact that I do not have much experience yet and that I'm just a graduate.
I had a great Sunday. Dined at CUTS @ Marina Bay Sands. The steak and everything else was awesome and so was the bill. Hahaha! Over to Dempsey, Red Dot after just to chill but everywhere on Sunday closes early! That's totally uncool. Teleported to Clarke Quay, Highlanders instead. We decided to check out Zirca, Gay Night. Interesting i must say, it's a first. Males half-naked, males in dresses, males getting intimate, etc. It wasn't very disturbing nor unsightly to me because i'm pretty cool with gays. I respect them. Heh heh!

You guys should totally catch a good movie like REAL STEEL, now showing in cinemas. Another random thang.. Out of all the clubs that I've visited so far, Club Avatar isn't very pleasing to me at all. It was a first. I've heard comments like it's great, fun or whatever not. I stepped in there, i was.. Lost. hahahahahaha. The place is damn 'anyhow'. Music wise was alright, it was a lady DJ that night. One good point will be, you can smoke in there. hahah.

Imma go grab my "breakfast" now. Time Check: 9:18PM. I kinda just woke up from a good 14 hours of sleep.

Bryzar bought a huge lollipop with many lolliz inside, for my sisters. It was just out of a sudden.
Like a aaaawwwwwwww~~

Just Last Friday.

2011-10-11T20:52:00.000+08:00

On a Friday. Up and early to have brunch with ex-colleagues, Suqin & Sam. Rach,Sheryl and Sylvia was supposed to come but one by one got caught up with things. It was a Korean Restuarant, BBQ Lunch buffet. It was good and real filling! Sheryl joined us after and over to Ann Siang Street to check out Oakham market. I left them for Zouk. I had to for work, helping out with the preparations for Dr Martens event.
OH YEAH, DR MARTENS X ZOUK #FIRST EXHIBITION. Yeap, I had a good night :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are some favourites..

Double. Not single.

2011-10-09T15:33:00.002+08:00

It was a long tuesday. I had never been out in town so early, before noon. Had brunch at a japanese restaurant. Plates of salmon sashimi, yum yum.. satisfying. A movie, Friends with Benefits. Over to Kallang Leisure Park for some impromptu ice-skating! Gosh, been super long since i last ice-skated. Well, slowly I got the hang of it again. Grabbed dinner and settled for Haji Lane for some sheesha and just chill out, to end off the day.

OH, have i mentioned that I had one ofthe craziest night at Attica once again on Wednesday. Pretty wasted then, bounced over to ENVY@Zirca for a lil short while.

holla bromance.

2011-10-07T00:20:00.001+08:00

Terence's 21st Birthday held at The Pines Club last Saturday. Today, 7th October is his official birthday. Just a gathering with beloved family and friends. If I'm not wrong, it was supposed to be some pool party or something hah but nay, nobody wanted to dip themselves in da water. Just buffet. We got him a birthday cake, cupcakes, a huge card as well as a French Connection watch.

Stucked.

2011-10-04T03:16:00.002+08:00

Yeah, i want to do this and i want to do that. But i can do neither. It'sjust unfortunate of me. I'm unable to cough out what is necessary to accomplish it, them or anything. #fml. As much as i try to get on with life given the ability to always ignore what is important, it still comes.. running back to me time and again. Times where it got me envious of and sometimes, even jealousy kicks in. Damn.

Dear God, please enlighten me man.
Show me the way~
I need it, i really do.

We are just humans.

2011-10-02T18:24:00.001+08:00

PH ON FRIDAY WAS NOT VERY COOL. WELL, COMPANY&DRINKS WERE GOOD ENOUGH.
ZOUK SATURDAY - SWATCH PARTY. HOPPED OVER TO PH FOR MORE AWESOME DRINKS & DEFINITELY, CHAMPAGNE! :)

IT DOESN'T PAY TO BE NICE ISN'T IT? WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TALKING WHEN IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS(OKAY, MAYBE JUST NOT EXACTLY)? TSKTSKTSK! VIC LIKES TO DIG HER OWN GRAVE YOU KNOW. NOT BRAGGING; SHE'S GENUINELY NICE AND UNDERSTANDING BUT OTHERS WOULD MISUNDERSTAND HER GOOD INTENTIONS. AIN'T COOL AT ALL! YOU GET IT, GOOD FOR YOU. IF YOU DON'T, YOU HAVE TO LEARN IT THE HARD WAY. IF YOU STILL CONTINUE TO BE DELUSIONAL, GOD BLESS YOU MY DEAR. SO VIC, FOR THE SAKE OF GOD, YOU SHOULD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. IN ANY CASE, GOD BLESS ALL YOU NASTY HUMANS.

MA BELOVED ROOMMATE IS BACK FROM ITALY! HAPPY ME! GOT ME MAKEUP & MISSDIOR, ETC. Just, lovely.

2011-09-30T16:22:00.002+08:00

Work has been eating up my time. I'm not complaining! #justsaying At least i wasn't unemployed for long. B. Way dragged me to Butterfact after dinner on Wed. It was a sober night except for one thing, i was bisexual. hahahaha Ahhhh well, I better get down to my stuffs now since it's my off day plus my weekends are packed especially Saturday! and my roommate will be back too! How exciting~

Indecent Nights.

2011-09-25T06:55:00.003+08:00

Yeah, its four days in a row. Velvet (Poptart), Attica (FashionTV Diamond Party), Butterfact, Winebar&Nana. It's sad. Firstly, i gave Avalon a missed. Secondly, ATB! Anyway, its okay cuz i bet it was packed like sardines. Oh well I definitely did have my fun and pretttyyy memorable nights esp. Attica w DJ Stingray; drinks&more drinks&much more drinks! Music was orgasmic. Alright, imma turn in now. X

thursday blues

2011-09-22T18:00:00.001+08:00

Sad Victoria isn't going to Avalon! But it's okay, there are other plans. My money is depleting really fast, gotta watch out on what 'm spending on. It was POPTART ytsd at Velvet Underground. Winebar as usual. It's a good night especially when Beatong starts gibbering. Her gibberish conversation were hilarious. Well well, maybe Attica tonight?

frmlastweek;

Wallow in Sadness.

2011-09-21T06:39:00.002+08:00

Carried away by an Asian drama series and it got me oh-so-emotionally unstable. ( mood, brain, thoughts affected, Darn it! ) See la! Stupid shows have corrupted this already-very-stupid-brain that 'm born with. ha ha ha. Right, i know it's stupid and yet i'm still watching it. I must say, the story is interestingly sad and touching and of course the guy (main lead) is so freaking good looking! How can I not watch the show right?! (I know right~ haha)

Productive Tuesday equals to happy contented Victoria; Had to run some errands from one place to another. Met up with Dr Marts Boss and I can prolly start by next week. Dinner at CompassPoint with Beatong and Joce followed by Monopoly Deal up till 1am bcuz it's superrrr duppperrr ultimately addictive I swear! :)

gdnight, i'm gonna turn in now. gdmrng, it's about 630am alr.

Highlight of the week: WORLD RUNWAY- Premiere Fashionquake Aid 2011, Featuring Se7en

2011-09-20T03:50:00.002+08:00

Back home from Supper & Johnny English Reborn. It's hilarious i must say! Well, there isn't any other shows to catch at such a late timing so yeah, no choice. Been busy although i'm pretty much UNEMPLOYED. hehehe Might probably be working at Dr Martens. But i'm thinking of getting a REAL proper job, been searching for one actually and 'm tryin' really hard not to be picky!! Ahhhh man, have i mentioned that I wanna get into University of Queensland? Am i dreaming or what? Yes i am (answered myself -.-). Hmm, have yet to discuss it with my mom & dad (if he still cares, haha).

Oh, what's new? Zouk on Friday was good cuz i'm sure i was pretty high and gladly J drove over to fetch me home. I went all around town on Saturday. Went to H&M for the first time ever since it opened, together with Beatrice. Madness, i wanna slaughter everyone. I thought it wouldn't be so crowded and i can hardly shop properly. KBOX with 296 and then over to Powerhouse but went home without even stepping into da club. So lonely at home, specifically my room cuz my roommate is in Italy, Milan to Rome to Vernice. *ENVIOUS! JEALOUS!*

Thanks to Michelle for the invitation to WORLD RUNWAY- Premiere, Fashionquake Aid 2011! Eight countries took part, eight teams: Brazil, France, Italy, Japan, Russia, Singapore, UK and USA. Japan stood out at the first round; those Gaga shoes the models were in was just plain hot and sexy. it's definitely isn't easy to walk in them but i would love to own a pair to keep. Haha! Okay, to cut it short, UK won. It was a definite answer! UK's fashion showcase was amazing despite the other teams who have put in their best, unleashing their individual creativity for this Fashion Styling Competition! Not forgetting to mention that there was a live stage performace by a Kpop artist, Se7en. Kpop fans went nuts, screaming their heads off. Me: *Rolls eyes*

Continue watching ma BigBangTheory... Goodnight. Xx

From Within.

2011-09-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

I would love to say this to someone.. in time to come;

"I love you. You're magnificent."

Free from..

2011-09-13T23:06:00.004+08:00

Hibernated at home for two days. Glued to my desk with ma lappy, sketchbook and ma novel. Meals with mom, sisters; lovely! Yeap, today was my last day at reckless. Will miss all you lovely awesome people and the crazy retarded times i had; jokes, dance& hellalotmore. Received a little parting gift as well, thanks! Alright, was doodling just now and i shall make love w ma book now. Hahaaaaah. Read i meant..

Hidden.

2011-09-11T12:06:00.004+08:00

People do not and will not understand the effort put in when things still goes wrong. Well then, i have to understand that not everything will just go the way you want them to be. It can go as bad as, as much as you want them to be right. Blame no one but yourself for such is life. Accept it, deal with it.

Telling tales on others be it the truth or not, wow, why am i not surprised. Maybe i should do the same. Hah! Nah, i'm not the kind. I speak of what i know, hear, see or experienced. Sometimes i wonder, what are their motives?

Here's another thing; How can i not be nice and forgiving so as to not allow anyone to walk over me? But to do so, what if......
(negative thoughts whirling in my head).

That's all, for now. Btw, reported for work 5-7mins late and was asked to go home after i've reached. -.- Waste of my time? I asked if i still have to report for work on tuesday.. YES. That's even more "-.-"!!! No worries, i won't pull any stunts and be responsible enough to go for ma last day at reckless;)

Just another..

2011-09-11T01:08:00.002+08:00

Buttered and then over to Rebel on a Wednesday. J came to fetch me home after. Cosmic Gate was average on a Friday. Jumped from Winebar to Velvet to Zouk and so on and so fourth as usual. What's new, seriously? Mundane nights I have. Wanted to head back early but unfortunately... yeah. It's Sidney Samson today! But gave it a missed. It's ma second last day of work at reckless tmrw!! Mixed of emotions.

Unexpectedly, I'm glad that someone actually understood that we were never together! my gosh, after the longest time. why am i still bringing it up aye? hah. Was reminded of it just ystd manz. Alright, enough said.
Gdfkgnight!

Costa Del Sol.

2011-09-07T02:56:00.004+08:00

Ain't the view beautiful? It's supposed the be laaa~ Supposedly the sea can be seen as well but it's too far for a lousy camera phone to capture to entire wide view i had! It's Costa Del Sol @ Bayshore Rd, kikikeli's condo man. The complete gang was present today. The condo is pretty impressive. East Coast Park is directly opposite; Plan to cycle/rollerblade failed due to a sudden downpour. So it was swimming instead. Pool with music; stay under the water for as long as you can if you want to listen to some music ya. Heh. Pool connected to ground floor houses! Also, a diving pool that goes as deep as 4meters! Sauna after feels awesome indeed. Pizzas & etc to satisfy our growling stomachs. A little Mahjong w the use of mini mahjong tiles to satisfy ma "mahjong-craving". Ended the night w a surprise advanced birthday cake for Ben:)

Long day you see, exhausted!

Goodnight mates. God bless you.

How much pain can a man endure?

2011-09-06T02:16:00.003+08:00

What good is it to live a life that brings pain?
I have to forget 'bout ma misery, remember them as waters that have passed away.

Work goes on for just another week. Chilled nightlife goes on as usual, as always. It was a major fun epic friday night at Zouk with Beatong & Silas! Apparently, there's a idk-what-drmarts-event, a guest DJ which took place at Zouk on Saturday. But left for Powerhouse before it even started! Well, i'm glad i left although i didn't really want to because if i did, it would have been for the wrong reasons. Healthy choice, Vic!

birthday pictures actually.

I want to believe in love, fairies and unicorns.

2011-09-02T12:33:00.003+08:00

How would it feel to live in a different city for a while? Free from everything else that you had "here". You would know nobody else. Nobody could judge you because you're a nobody "there". Everything would be stranger to you. It's gonna be exciting. As thrilling as it is going to be, I would say, it's like getting to know someone from the start whom you never knew he's going to be someone you want to love. It will be all good only at the start and then.........

WINEBAR/ZOUK NIGHTS

: To be somewhere totally new!

Taking baby steps.

2011-08-28T11:38:00.008+08:00

I thought i've lost myself. Lost faith in men. Lost interest in them. No, I haven't apparently. Been going on w my usual routine but with no rest at all and that's what is torturing. Well, not as torturing as compared to a broken heart aye? Hah. That's probably bcuz I do have ma fun times at work! (sadly, sarah ninjawheee is leaving reckless and it was her last day and we had a great time for da last time. Having our own mini art&craft session.) Heh heh. and friends who keeps me always laughing away like a mad dog, as usual. For all that's worth, thank God. I'm better, I think.

DAMN!

2011-08-22T01:35:00.002+08:00

What a weekend! Friday & Saturday was jumping from Winebar to Velvet to Zouk to Phuture to Wineber & so on. Pretty good on both days though with different company of friends. Yes, drinks was definitely not a problem but i refrained for the fact that i have work the next day. Quite responsible you see? Hah.

ANYWAY i've been hesitating a lot, way too much! I've come to a conclusion that imma stop working at the reckless shop. Maybe, just stop for the time being? A little ranting: Well well, i'm really pissed with my fourth sister right now. Heading out now at this time to meet a fkedup boy. It totally ain't assuring because she's still young, gullible, naive, definitely not street-smart! Apparently, she's to eager to get out of the house to meet him, she switched off my third sister's laptop while she's working on her project that's due tomorrow. Architecture is not easy man! So, seconds minutes hours dayssss of hard work just gone like that. OUCH! What the Fuck? She broke down ;'( &chased my sis out. Me sitting next to her, i went speechless! Hoping & helping to see whether they can be recovered. Sad, my roommate can't sleep tonight!

outdated ones.

Pensive Mood.

2011-08-20T21:12:00.004+08:00

“To be upset over what you don’t have, is a waste of what you do have.”

For all I have endured..

I am always living the life I create. The same applies to every single one of you out there. I had the chance, I took it. And it changes my life? Let it. Forget or learn from the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Sometimes, I'm confused whether I should stay put and wait for what i want to come or am i supposed to go all out to search for it myself?

As much as we want to be surrounded with people who loves us, admire us and be believed in, sometimes we ponder. We don't know about the people around us, whether they are the ones who will always remain true to you behind your back.

"Sometimes it seems safer to hold it all in, where the only person who can judge is yourself."

Sarah Dessen

Deeply Appreciated.

2011-08-19T00:09:00.007+08:00

We all still need other people to spur us on. I need my friends, i have them to repeatedly tell me that it is not worth it. I know it myself, but yknow sometimes you just can't help it. I tried to stop because i didnt want to ruin the night and it was ma night but i still did. Ahh, i suck! And i love them, they stood by me. I can't thank them enough, i thank God for them. As much as others can help me, i have to help myself to grow out of this phase. Sidetrack a little.. Have i mention that sometimes it's rather annoying to read tweets on twitter when there is a lot of, "i miss my blahh. I love my blahhh... Etc". Just those blahhh blahh blahhh tweets, oh so lovey dovey. Urgh, yeah call me envious jealous or whatever not. Duh, what do you expect from a heartbroken lady here? Hahaha. Alright, back on track. I guess i'm being/have been delusional many a times although there really are genuine moments where i honestly felt the joy in me, and took all that had happen as crap, bullshitz, whatever not. Oh wow, i just learnt that i'm a broken record. Hah, like okay?! Imma just take it in my stride yeah. Hmmm. Respect! i've allowed people to dissrespect me because i've been too soft hearted and forgiving. I hardly hold any grudges because i'd rather see the good in people. BUT.. There's always a limit! Most importantly, i've learnt that you have to love yourself first before expecting love from the other party. (yeap, you really do need to realise that you need to love yourself ma dear.) Gosh, i'm utterly ashamed, embarrassed that i was sobbing practically the whole night at butterfact. Opened bottles, my first drink was a flaming and i gotta admit i didnt drink THAT much, not as much as i expect myself to drink. Well, I was feeling so upbeat happy awesome at 1 Altitude with charm and beat. Oh, i love the ambience and tequila rose? See, i don't like to get wasted otherwise i'll become a major sobbing queen. Woke up to see texts, comforting wise texts from y'all i cant be grateful enough. They just made my morning. Much love.

_______________________________________________________________

MAJOR SPAM OF PICTURES.

22nd Birthday.

2011-08-16T23:51:00.019+08:00

AWESOME 22nd BIRTHDAY!

with ma lovely 296s

xoxoxo
it's the first with you guys and there shall be more to come...

THANK YOU guys for the present, the huge card & cuppycakes! Love & appreciate every single bit of your love & efforts put in:) Really, Seriously, Honestly, TYVM. Love y'all man!!! A simple birthday celebration at marina barrage. it was picnik, home-made food, kite flying, pretty crazy car rides with one on top of another, followed by & ended at PS Cafe at Dempsey Hill for yummy desserts & drinks.

SHOOO SHHWEEET OF Y'ALL LUH!
(they tasted so damn sweet too man! hah)

:: Belated birthday to Shirley on 15 Aug. It was Marche and then a lovely cake made for her!

i thank God for today.

Delightful Friday.

2011-08-13T23:49:00.004+08:00

This was Friday. They really SURPRISED me with an advanced birthday celebration. I WAS REALLY SHOCKED cuz it was really unexpected. It isn't the whole reckless team in da photograph.. I'm grateful and appreciate my boss efforts and time to bake such a yummy birthday cheesecake for my manager (belated birthday) & I. Thanks for the gift as well, a lovely maxi dress. heh!

Over to Winebar w Beat&Charm and some unknown others. Great time! Fancy bumping into long lost friends and then, a lil catching up here and there with drinks and more drinks too. I was in high spirits.

the reckless tribe

imma rant alil about work. cuz working at vivo is freaking tiring. having to deal with mostly china ladies/customers pisses me off real bad. Okay, only a handful of them are awesome. hah! okay, stopping here. cuz me going into details can get pretty offensive so nahh. hah
*keeps them to myself.*

I made it through the night.

2011-08-12T00:59:00.001+08:00

Been so caught up with work and another fucking job bcuz the fucking guy is being simply irresponsible. You chased us to get everything done asap but keep postponing the appointments and delaying our pay. Sigh! But oh well, it's alright i will wait PATIENTLY. Hang out with the boys just two days back for a short while but it will be great if all of the others can make it too yeah. Zouked/Winebar on a Wednesday night with M. B. A. C. for a lil short while then over to Butterfact to meet K. T. C. N. I pulled B. M. C. along w me to ButterF. Weirdly, drinks and shots just couldnt get me high. let alone getting drunk. hah.

"Too beautiful to die. Too wild to live."

Ironic.

2011-08-11T13:53:00.001+08:00

yknow sometimes..

yknow that you shouldn't be doing it cause it's wrong but you still do it anyway!

yknow there will be consequences but you still do it anyway!

yknow it's not gonna save your sorry ass but you still do it anyway!

yknow it's only gonna make you suffer more but you still do it anyway!

it's ironic, isn't it?

Gone Bonkers!

2011-08-09T01:18:00.006+08:00

I WANT!!

i was just browsing thru solestruck -online window shopping- and i chanced upon thisssss...

Eigthy Twenty KIP

i want Sam Edelman Zoe tooooooooo, in black almond!!

Sexxxaye.

ANYWAY.
attica & uss for ber's birthday with ma lovely people.

.that's all for now.

OH YA, IT'S NATIONAL DAY. It keeps slipping of my mind. hah!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE~

Enlivened.

2011-08-07T01:55:00.009+08:00

The mind keeps getting all over the place. The mind jolly well understands the exact reason to leave/for leaving but in order to give it all up, it chooses to arrive at silly or may it be fallacious.. thoughts. Nevertheless, to cut it short, i'm all good. It'll all gradually vanish and i'll break away from this neurotic chapter of my life.

Happy 21st Birthday Ber! Great fun at Universal Studios Singapore today w great company! Pretty exhausted man! Supposed to be heading down to zouk after but cancelled. So here i am, home on a saturday night :) Imma get down to my sketchbook now before heading over to ma lil crib. heh. Goodnight darlingzzz

come what may.. thank you for this lil episode that has definitely taught me well although it came down to an undesirable outcome.

Hot Chelle Rae - Bleed

2011-08-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

Mambo's Anniversary on Wednesday. Quite a night at Winebar & Velvet only. With only one and a half hours of sleep, i still got up for work quite on time. Heh. Yeap, I'm much of a ninety-eight percent dead meat already.
I need to be sufficiently recharged for my friday if there were to be anything on. and i can't wait for saturday! hehe.

i'm having outburst of moodswings every now and then. (for a period of time, i can be all so hyper and cheerful. the next very moment, i'll just stone and stare into blank space.. *starts thinkg* *gets mentally emotional*) i'll get pissed at certain people who texts me really easily and then fucking them up. for no reason or maybe slightly? yeah, very unreasonable. please be understanding, tyvm.

gonna change url again, when i have da time.

Birthdays to Birthdays.

2011-08-03T04:29:00.002+08:00

2 AUG - Happy Birthday Sis, Elizabeth!

Well, i gave dental appointment a miss bcuz i was exceptionally tired. Hah! If i continue doing this, i don't know when am i gonna get the metals out of ma mouth. heh! Dinner with the family and sister's boyfr, Jacq. Settled down for an awesome chinese cuisine followed by desserts at Secret Recipe bcuz everywhr was almost closing and we're all pretty stuffed already. Great dinner! <3

Ma Lovely Nights @ ATTICA, yet again.

Persis's Birthday Celebration on Saturday.

bbq session.

in case you didn't know,
"it's not all light and bright in here."

It's August baby.

2011-08-02T02:13:00.002+08:00

Finally, i have time.. some time. Been rushing in and out, here and there to do these and that.
Glad that i'll be really occupied, working every single day throughout my August! A great distraction isn't it?
Yeah, prepared to be one shaggy monster at the end of the month. No intention of celebrating my birthday too.
Anyway, haappy birthday to my sister, Eliz and quite a few friends! Haven really got the time to do certain things i wanna do & so alright, imma do some doodling (Damn, I wanna kill myself for not touching my sketchbook for the longest time!), have a smoke and head to bed in a bit!

Goodnight friends.

it has been much of a nightmare.
I pray for strength and wisdom to get through this phase of heartache and melancholy.

Evident Truth.

2011-07-31T04:03:00.017+08:00

now you can do ~~whatever~~ you want.

whatever you've always wanted to do.

whatever you were once restricted to do.

whatever that pleases you.

whatever you longed for.

whatever you think it's worth be it for the moment or forever.

whatever or wherever you can find pure happiness and pleasure in.

whatever you think is able to help you to hide away from the truth.

whatever. whatever. whatever.

A truth that is inescapable but yet... (lost for words)

i surrender.

i've learnt ; We're the masters of our mind & heart. We made choices based on them. The obstacles faced or about to face, are already there to make us learn from and overcome them. & then move on and apply them. we may not always get it initially, but we will in a matter of time.
everyday is an learning experience.
God, please give me all the strength that i need.

TGIF.

2011-07-30T04:04:00.003+08:00

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

just got back from Attica, Lovely.

this is powerhouse on a fucking saturday.
YH's birthday partaye.

Going Solo. Forgive and Forget.

2011-07-29T01:09:00.011+08:00

THINK. THINK. THINK.

thinking about how things have been and what it can/will become, regrets.

probably, things will be a lot easier. we didn't solve the problem bcuz i'd rather not say.
well, i can only blame myself for making that decision on impulse,
and looked for unsubstantial reasons or excuses.

anyway in any other case, i've moved on; feeling good day by day.

alright, that's it.

keeping mum about anything that actually matters, alot.

in hopes that all will slowly fade awayyyy..

2011-07-28T18:29:00.002+08:00

I had a really long day ytsd with a mundane day and crazy night. Worked at Reckless till early evening and then another job at Bedok that lasted 2 hours and at last i'm done and over w it. Now, wait for the moooneh to come! heheh. Afterwhich was clarke quay with beat and charm.. Zirca for drinks. Butterfact for more drinks, and with more people. Then to Attica with Keli & gang. Lunar for more drinks, not for me cause i'm alr pretty gone. Back to Attica! Awesome at attica man! Tsk! Shan't share what went on there yeah. heh!

these are last wednesday's Butter, andd... idk when. Can't remember!

alright, i'm really late! got to go man!

TRY!

2011-07-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

i should stop digging my own grave. just STOP.

internet life is really unhealthy. like REALLY.

bad enough to be able to screw up my mind, my thoughts.

i worked hard at work today. i hope tmrw will be the same. i HOPE.

feeling damn worn out. i should sleep to refrain my thoughts from running wild.

yes, NOW.

Stop thinking. Stop assuming. Stop concluding. Stop stop stop.. everything.

Cause you're getting practically or literally nothing out of this.

ha ha ha.

that road killed.

2011-07-26T00:01:00.006+08:00

Looking back at those moments; knowing exactly why i love you.

this song has been on repeat. heh

"The side that I don't show to anyone in fear that they may turn and run."

Very true indeed, but i made that happen to myself. Something i feared so much but resulted to such an undesirable outcome, i can't deny the pain. That fear has come to a point of being a definite barrier.......

How stupid of you, Vick!

somebody, define the idea of being friends. oh, tell me about it.

Average Sunday.

2011-07-25T00:46:00.009+08:00

Getting over you is the real deal.

I should re-focus on work. Feelings and revelations can wait and shall be put on hold.

yessah, back to work from today onwards with major moodswings on and off. The Reckless Shop is gonna have a new store opening at Vivocity by tuesday or wednesday, i can't remember. heh. Helped out in setting up the store was pretty hectic for the fact that i barely had 2 hours of sleep. I even did manual cleaning man, gosh. Something i would never ever do at home, i must admit. Hah. Too worn out, i decided not to do my so called easy-money-job today but headed over to Jav's condo to hangout for awhile. It has been quite a long time.. yeah. Over to Beat's place for a the-depressed-girls-gathering. aha! I'm really starvingggggggggg naoooo, not like food is gonna magically appear yeah? Shall sleep it off.

oh! i swear sia, it's a fucking break-up-month. those/whoever out there who is feeling so fucking fked up, just cheer up aight! when you're ready you will come to find that special someone. do not forsake any other better and important things out there that will be worth your time or money or whatsoever. hahahaaaa but anyway, i'm all fine alr:) Go away July! Quickly!
Eyes are shutting. Goodnight darlz.

xxxx

Plausible deniability.

2011-07-23T02:40:00.015+08:00

Gosh, almost forgot about this sexay Vagabond Grace Gore boots here.

JC WHAT

JOES CORBY

MESSECA CRIS
credits to solestruck.

aren't these babies irresistible! hahah yes they are, to me!

Here, i like Joes Corby & Vagabond da best. hah but i aint getting none of these but something else instead.

See, shopping is able to replace anything else, temporary. It's a good distraction and brings great satisfaction.

hahahaaaa. ain't wanna go fishing nor prawning so...

i'm home on a Friday night ; confine myself in a room, bury myself under blankets, blasting music to my ears.
oh, not forgetting watching dramas; the ones that contains the least romance. hah!

Can you guarantee that there can be nothing more?

I'm still hung up on you.

2011-07-23T01:26:00.003+08:00

Photoshoot this afternoon. It's gonna be a chiffon collection. and i loveee it!
(as seen in the first picture!! hehe)

Love them all, the tops and cape!

a mini bbq gathering ; at brookevale park on a tuesday.

2011-07-22T02:40:00.005+08:00

One can't dictate how love should work.

okay, please do not laugh. i've nvr done this.... (i meant taking picture this way) HAH
TSK but i likey my today outfit laaaa... :/ it ain't clear though. well, lousy phone = lousy quality.
it was pretty much a plain black dress but i added drapes to it. and it has been quite some time since i used photoshop. -.-

Yeah, and this... I was bored at work you see. heh

It's a new arrival. **Like.

Oh my goodness, i fucking miss you like mad.

The Perpetual Feeling

2011-07-21T05:51:00.002+08:00

Gosh. it's almost 6am, having a bowl of cereals. & about to watch Teen Wolfs, Spakzi introduced to me. it will be good in helping to take my mind of everything. Damn pictures! they bring back such great memories but fuck it. i'll start reminiscing. it's killing me on the inside and yet i try so so hard just to be alright. i tell myself repeatedly; get over it get over it, you're doing just so fine before you met him and it should remain the same when he leaves. no doubt, i did had a great night at Butter just now despite how i was frankly feeling, this prolonged dull pain. Sighs.

Legs in Disguise.

2011-07-20T08:01:00.000+08:00

Fucken pretty!

every waking moment.

2011-07-20T02:33:00.006+08:00

many a times, i've been questioned.. how long, how long was it? Gosh, do you people understand that it's not about the time. it isn't the quantity, it's the quality. In any case, you have to be strong Vic. Though i still think of you every waking moment, it gets so depressing. i would feel lost. i lost something that was once so significant in my life. i've never valued any other more than i did, for you and for us. you're gonna move on, i have to do the same bcuz nothing to going to change. the love wasn't enough, it wasn't enough to enable you to want to put in any more efforts or make any sacrifices for this relationship. Sacrifices made can be painful and torturing; i was more than willing but it was otherwise on your part. Already being unable to get through such an obstacle now, wouldn't it be worst when something greater comes along? something that can be more tormenting than before.

Yes, i still can't deny that i love you and i'll continue to grieve over you day and night but it's all part of the process isn't it? gosh, i have no idea how long it's gonna take and so i have to weep over this tragic phase of my life until i get sick of it? hah.

Well, this is it.

I want you, entire.

2011-07-19T06:42:00.003+08:00

i detest temptations. i'm so tempted to call/text you, know of your whereabouts, know what you are up to, know whether you are doing fine...

it goes onnnnn. Yeap, better do take care of yrself.

you know,

i am yours to keep.

Friends or not to be?

2011-07-18T03:16:00.008+08:00

if they could catch dreams, why cant they catch us.. together.

talking things out, speaking the truth/whtvr it is as long as it's gonna be in a rational and calm way. things can be alright isn't it? --actually i'm very much like you, bcuz whatever i'm going to say in a bit, i'll start to think like maybe whatever you said were just saying for the sake of saying wanting to put me off. -- Yes, i do get all so paranoid all the fucking time but i dealt with it, i try... and so the difference would be i choose to be optimistic. We only live once, just be optimistic and live with/through it? No matter how negative i honestly am inside now, i tell myself to think positively repeatedly.. repeatedly.. repeatedly. I forced you to tell me to move on, "Yes. I want you to move on." As much as it hurts because i still love you, imma do it, slowly. One step at a time. Sorry, if i've upset you by being a burden & have been torturing you actually? Well, i thank you for being part of my life. (i still do want to be in yours though. AH DAMN YOU VIC, don't be sillly bitch _|_ )

no matter what, bear in mind that anything can be worked out as long as both parties are willing to even as it may cause any pain/hurt. bcuz in the long-term way, it will all come to a pleasant and happy outcome.

//wrists.

God will help me in this, i know that.

He will give me the strength to overcome it all.

hugs, myfriend.

FUCK MA JULY.

2011-07-17T19:30:00.004+08:00

major eyebags.

[ i've not slept since yesterday night. ]

whuthefck seriously. it's a really fckedup July.

yeah whut, a fcking breakup then.. i thought fees for Lasalle will be covered for. You said if i really want it, go for it and now, you're gg back on yr word. Not only gg back on yr word, you bring E into the picture claiming that she should be contributing to the family alr seeing that she has definitely been earning lots of money thru justamaze & her somewhat proper job as a designer.

So basically saying that.. she isn't contributing to the family at all so you won't pay for my fees FIRST, i made a promise i will pay back like duh (reason being, i'm taking up any possible part-time job i can possibly do!).

FUCK seriously. FUCK THESE. I want to fucking study.

Fucken hell.

Good old friends.

2011-07-17T03:51:00.011+08:00

I'm really depressed becuz i'm not going to pursue a degree in Lasalle.

Well, on the bright side.. there are jobbs out there f meeee heh.

It's stupid to care when you're not even cared for. It was stupid of me to believe reasons that are obviously just excuses. I've made foolish mistakes. I'll learn from it. Evrythng is an experience, something i can learn from and avoid making the same mistakes. (the usual saying isn't it? hah.) Yeap, i dont know how but for a moment, i felt stronger and stopped all the pointless sobbing session alone with my brain and my heart in bed, under the blanket. hahahaha Many a times, i just see the need to laugh at myself for weeping so much for someone who doesn't deserve my respect, trust and love. No doubt i'll still feel down especially when i start reminiscing.. But I've been very ridiculous aye! I admit I've been too tolerant, gullible, naive, weak, so on and so fourth.. But definitely/absolutely/clearly/undeniably (whatever -ly) mature and wise enough to differentiate or know what's right from wrong, etc. (Not a 101% though. Bcuz people, even adults can be prone to childish acts yeah?) Okay anyway, I'm glad that i have the adequate level of maturity. hehahahe

Nothing much on a Saturday night.

A little supper. there's xw, cindy and yj as well.

extremely long time since i last met 'em <3

2011-07-16T16:29:00.003+08:00

Been hitting the clubs. Rebel on Wednesday. Yesterday was Phuture/Winebar with beat marcus silas and Rebel after w Ter and the rest. Well, dont know about today. I fucking swear upon my life and death that i hate Long Island. Disgusting maxed. It was a really fucking long fucked up night, ended up in bed only at around 7 odd. Our cab fare of travelling from Yishun to Liang Court and back to Yishun then Hougang with our head's pounding came up to 50bucks. Woww, yeah. Sad, one of my ring spoiled - even sadder.

I swear, i'm so fucking sick of all these shitz, my brains are about to explode into pieces, heart about to burn into ashes and it shall be non-existent.

I'm skipping Lasalle, which means i wont be able to get my degree just yet or never? :(

Money-minded, shall be it.

(working on that right now!)

I wasn't given any choice.

2011-07-15T16:27:00.008+08:00

To begin with, I wasn't given any choice to even say, No.

I swear, the feeling inside is unbearable and depressing every single time

i wake up from my sleep. Hardly slept, hardly ate.

Well...

It was the last fix, the last hit.

Then it was goodbye.

Reflect.

2011-07-14T16:44:00.007+08:00

Congratulations to myself.

I've been offered a place in Lasalle, Degree in Design Communication!

I'm hesitating though, yeah money issues. Sadly, i wasn't born rich.

I will give you my ALL and total being.

; all that you ever need.

i must know or hear nothing about you bcuz it causes me to

reminisce all over again.. and again.. and again.........

stupid as it may seem;

i'm just trying ways, anything and everything to pull myself back together,

the all time cheerful happy-go-lucky one .

Fell..

2011-07-13T19:28:00.004+08:00

Take me back to the day before we even met..

I recovered from my previous and you appeared to make it all worst than ever.

Oh my god, i'm about to stab myself.

Oh my god, somebody fucking pull me out of this fucking misery.

It doesn't pays to be nice.

It doesn't pays to be faithful.

It doesn't pays to be truthful.

It doesn't pays to be understanding.

It doesn't pays to be able to tolerate anything.

It doesn't pays to love you but i still did/do.

Hopefully one day, you'll fucking wake up and come to fucking understanding and fucking

appreciate all the fucking efforts that i've fucking put in into this fucking relationship.

Tormenting

2011-07-13T02:15:00.005+08:00

I still want this..... but that's if you honestly do as well.

i can say that;

i've honestly put in as much effort as i could.

but it all comes down to Nothing.

my efforts are visible enough to be appreciated?

any other people could see that change..

except you.

you can do this, i know it but you refused.

(Boys always taking the EASY way out.)

so much for trusting.

nah, moved on...

Words

2011-07-12T19:31:00.001+08:00

When money becomes an issue... It beats everything, hands down. Yes, it's of great importance but I think of it as.. only to a certain extend. There're certain things where opportunities, they only come once. It's either you grab it now, or never putting aside the possibility of maybe being lucky yeah. anyway, I can't say that I'm a lot better just yet. Extremely upset and disappointed, yes. Regrets, maybe / maybe not. In any case, I guess I do deserve a lot better though I was really happy with you, enough to feel such a great deep pain. Oh gosh, literally crying on the inside. As much as I still do want this to work, I need closure. .....

2011-07-12T00:54:00.005+08:00

over.

FUCKING

NOT

OKAY

A fucking Monday.

2011-07-11T12:06:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna be okay for now. I don't know about later.

Up really early today, for nothing. Except to meet a buyer. &Iggy later.

I almost got banged by a vehicle again, this time a van. I think i really dont want to live alr.

Hah. Well, it fucking stopped just in time, right in front of me.

Had my earpiece plugged into my ears, i could hardly hear the van's horn.

okay, i'm still alive. Thank God.

I shouldn't be settling for anything less than what I deserve.

- tells myself repeatedly

Be yourself.

2011-07-10T22:21:00.006+08:00

I will never shut the door on someone who doesn't act in the way I expect.

But instead i'll try to find out why.

Nights are my days.

2011-07-09T17:51:00.004+08:00

Wed was clarkequay with the girls. Attica's music is da bomb i swear! Oh yeah, has been so long since i last seen DJ Stingray. Hahah Then drop by Rebel's VIP to visit terence and his depressed heart. Well, I really hope he will wake up and move on yeah.. His depressed aura is making me depressed as well. urghhz.

I had a pretty good friday cuz i had dinner with Beatrice at our usual, sushi! heh I haven seen her for the longest time ever. The same goes for charmant and Marcus. It was Jon's birthday @ Zouk last night. What a night spent at zouk members the whole time, from the start till the end. Amazed, i never stepped into the dancefloor. Hah. Thanks to Jon and a few others for the huge amount of alcohol, shots to bottles to champagne and oh, foodddd hah. and great company of cuz.

Tonight's Alvin's 21st. Prolly giving that a miss yeah?

hmm....

Is that what i'm worth? I don't think this is what i deserve.

Oh, tell me about it.

2011-07-06T17:55:00.001+08:00

How about some smokes, music and a sketchbook... aye?

xox

XX

2011-07-06T02:49:00.004+08:00

Goodnight, I love you. xx

well, it's alright; it doesn't matter much if you don't.

SHAH'S

2011-07-04T23:45:00.004+08:00

INSANELY IN LOVE.

2011-07-04T22:59:00.006+08:00

THIS

SHOO

FUCKING

FRUSTRATING

AND

TORTURING

URGHHZ

why why why why why why why

...... .............. ..... ...

Senso Neve

( Saw something really similar at Editor's Market today.

probably the inspired version aye. )

aye, i really want that Sam Edelman Wynn. *sad face*

and...

Irregular Choice -What An Angel indeed

JC In Trouble

JC Roscoe

2011-07-03T13:12:00.002+08:00

i don't understand why. i really don't.

& it's pissing me off real bad.

buttered on wednesday, rather boring. well, maybe bcuz i didn't drink at all uh.

but my friends were rather high / gone? hah

rebel on saturday, rather boring too. again, i hardly drank. heh

lost my friends at the dancefloor, so packed and sweaty inside. eww

decided to just sit at vip with iggy & the rest.

alright, gotta collect stuff @ Amk and head to work in a bit.

Ciaoz.

2011-06-30T19:22:00.005+08:00

A self-comforting moment.

it's all gonna be fine.

there's nothing to worry about.

"Some people cry not becuz they're weak. It's becuz they've been strong for too long."

true that.

SHAHEEAHHH'S 21ST.

2011-06-30T18:33:00.006+08:00

25-26 June.

located @ Sentosa Villa.

very very awesome place.

2011-06-24T00:14:00.002+08:00

never thought that i would feel this way.

2011-06-22T03:23:00.006+08:00

Yeah, short lil update before i head to bed though i said to myself,

i'll sleep after i've had my cup of cereal.

nope, always not keeping to my words. heh

Happy birthday to my fifth Sister, Rebekah!

i've hibernated at home for two days alr, yes SLEEP. hahah i'm terrible!

boyfr told me to get out of the house but i refused. Well, i'll step out tmrw!

anyway, my godmother passed away. she took care of me when i was a toddler&

in my kindergarten and pri sch days! went to the funeral just now:'(

well, it was about time as she has been ill for a really really long time! & aging too.

but damnit, the last time i saw her was last year during cny. yeap, sucks!

i'm glad at the same time, cuz she was able to accept Christ & she's with God now.

Rest In Peace, Love.

i miss b.