hihi.
i'm actually really glad that nobody or hardly anybody comes to this space here. & i'm feeling really emotional out of a sudden so i can somewhat talk about certain stuffs thou i'm not one who will just spill everything out.there's so many things in my fucking head that is driving mentally crazy and tired recently. that should prolly be the reason why i can't get to sleep. i would start drawing to try to clear my mind, make my eyes get tired and eventually fall asleep.
i'm always feeling bad for this and for that. Basically, i'm never able to please anyone, never.
it's not that i'm trying to please everyone but it's like... i dont know, i can't describe this fucking feeling. I cant find that perfect word. & i dont even have to spell it out, how can i ever compare myself to any of my sisters. dream on vic. let alone wanting my parents to be proud of me. useless much right. you see, i'm fucking 21 already but i'm acting like as if im still so young, like a kid.
there are things that i feel is or are really important to me but it isnt to you. maybe you just dont understand or get it. its okay, really. i've never (or hardly?) complain anyway. but it's still okay. i'm prolly just too used to it.
afterall, i really dont fucking know what i fucking want right now but as long as everyone or anyone around me is happy:) &one thing i fucking know for sure is that i need to fucking graduate this year no matter what.
yeap, ive had my cry. i think i can sleep now.
i need to fucking wake up at 5 30am.
gn to myself.
